Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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