...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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