She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
BRING THE BAGELS
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize