I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
