the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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