I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
