Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize