I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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