I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
