you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
