if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize