I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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