There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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