what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
