My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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