Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
