He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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