dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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