My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
They took my balls.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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