My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
