Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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