hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
