There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
