just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
