so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
