i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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