How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize