just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
