just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
