i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
