Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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