Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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