just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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