I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
