areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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