I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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