This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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