we're chasing vodka with high fives
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize