We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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