Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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