Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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