Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
