im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
