It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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