I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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