look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
