tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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