what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
my liver is dry heaving
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
