Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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