I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize