Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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