so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
