Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
