she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
