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• (586): View more from Michigan

  their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  and what kinds of feelings would these be?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Happy, horny, occasionally hungry

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• (585): View more from New York

  i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party

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• (914): View more from New York

  Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off

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• (845): View more from New York

  one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down

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• (607): View more from New York

  To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS

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• (518): View more from New York

  I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend

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