Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
