Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
