I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
