Can i not drive my cunt home
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
