This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
