if you like me you must not know who I am
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
