There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just pee around me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
