I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
