I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize