Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
