guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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