whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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