I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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